Make no mistake. Rules are good. And especially when you think about rules in a relationship, I believe many couples are confused and angry because the rules in their relationship are just not defined well.
For example, a good rule is for couples to keep a watch-out for unplanned spendings. A good rule is also to share responsibilities with housekeeping and cleaning.
But many relationship features in different magazines and websites talk about rules in a relationship that really make no sense. And this Cosmopolitan story is just about that.
“Instead of blindly adhering to a prefab and possibly outdated standard, it’s smart to consider how couples really function in today’s world and act accordingly,” says Los Angeles psychotherapist Lynn Ianni, PhD.
Rule #1: You can’t check out anyone else
Seriously, this rule is as outdated as dinosaurs. Who says you cannot give a good-looking guy/girl a second look? Of course, intently gazing at someone else, especially if your partner is around, is not right either. Keep a healthy balance.
Rule #2: You have to give each other the play-by-play of your day
Having no secrets between partners is always a good thing. You may boast, my partner and I have nothing to hide. But always remember, your partner need not know EVERYTHING. It’s some advice my mother gave me, and her mother before her. And it is sound advice I know I can give my kids too.
Rule #3: Sex always has to be spontaneous
So what do you do when you have daily meetings and your partner is preparing for a big promotion? Daily pressures can dampen your sex life. So what do you do? Plan the “date”, and look forward to it.
Rule #4: You have to resolve every conflict
No way. There are some conflicts that you both know will bring up dirty pasts (like ex-es) or the nasty present (nosey in-laws), and you also know you are far better off without it, why harp on it? Let it go. To find out more and WHY YOU SHOULD BREAK THESE RULES, check out the Cosmo story, here.
0 comments:
Post a Comment